1. In a Few Years We Will Buy Condoms With Gold
The first eunuch was a new age pharmaceutical
salesman who ate that ice cream cone so slow
while looking me in the eye and asking if I'd hold
that hand for just a while longer.
Your deadbeat uncle called again and asked
what season do we harvest the kids in
but the hems of the coat unfurl for her
I come from the first 3-D movie theater.
Loan me a dollar today tomorrow you can watch
while I deflower the prize race horse “speedy”
whose acumen for renting Pornos knows no
bounds on the democratic piss access.
For a guy who says “Philosophy Ramparts”
you sure spread your legs real wide
She’s all convex for World War 3
I’m all Rembrandt for this wet towel fest.
Confession: There are four rings from beer
glasses on the Wooden Leg Atrophie great
Magician of Science hits on my Mom
Going home alone’s a sport too.
Basketball games almost over on the bar
T.V. Easy (that this was conceived there)
Hard (He said it he said it, erection!)
Going down to the bathroom STANZA end
2. Summers for Chumps
This is it, my fourth drink of the night
I hired a belly dancer to pour the last drop
but I don’t initiate for no bitch
Axiom: Earnesty
Axiom: Steel
Axiom: Point
Tip her boob (curse word)
into the milk glass
Big Trouble for me
I’m tailgating mushroom roots
fight the Tiger
That is my: fourth drink: of the night
3. I Get Called to Court For This Mess
Judge forgive me I was alone in a new city and
the moon looked so pretty, the bartender poured
his heart out for me in 5.0% ABV form and the
angels (take a limit seriously frankly) but I find
out I’m in trouble for not hunting the curvature
Damn and I just took out a loan at the Pussy Lip
academy “Return to Form you great beer gut of
an Italian Coward” If I lower my hand anymore it
will be in the defendants asshole.
4. Watching Kangaroo Jack Behind Bars
Remember: Analysis: Firm Hand
Coochie: Cops: A hint
High definition: CGI: Fur Suit
Rescue: Circulator: UNO
Bars: Bar: THIS IS MY FOURTH DRINK
5. Sailboating to Palm Relax Money Island
Retired Now The King of Song The King of
Asking for Your Number and Coughing
Like This Guys Read 1984 Boy What a Lake
I’m Swimming In IT -> My Homes a Rental
The Last of Armory Reserved Is Me
Holding a Gun at a 40 Chanting to Homie
All My Guys -> In All my Babes
The year 20167 is A Pornhub Affiliate
I Finish Drink Five In The Current Empty Hole
Residency Vacated-> Horny For Entropy Again
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